A Hidden Secret = Poem #1 -- CloudxTifa - General Romance

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I let you get hurt,
I let her die,
I let him take it,
And the whole world cry,

Now, I am in pain,
I want to see her anew,
But I hurt,
Because I don’t want to lose you,

My love for her a lie,
My love for you a hidden secret,
I let her die,
I won’t let you.

My life, a broken maze of memory I rushed through,
I lived a lie that should have long since been buried,
I should have waited, savored my time with you,

Now I see, my veil lifted,
Only one mattered,
My vision has now shifted,
An evil little lie has been shattered,

Please forgive me,
I have you,
For making me,

So damn completely in love with you.

I like the poem a lot but there's one thing that I've noticed with this one, as well as all the others. You start off with one, well... "beat" but then switch to another, always going back and forth between several ones. IMO, it's very distracting because the flow is very fragmented. This makes it harder to read, therefore making the poem perhaps harder to appreciate than it really should be.

Now, I'm not saying that the content is lacking. It's actually a very good one and I can see the message that you're trying to get through but... work on the flow a bit, alright? :smile: