This is a story I've just been playing with, so decided I'd post some of what I've type so far here. When I get the chance I'll be posting the other parts to it. Happy reading! I look forward to reading everyone's comments. :amused:
God Bless,
Souba

Title: Children of M.A.A.S.K.
Author: Souba
Rating PG-

M.A.A.S.K. - Metal Adhesive Alloy Synthesized Kidskin

During the Exploration years scientist began to advance in technology with those discoveries came arrogance. It was at this time that the experimentation on the orphan children began… They composed an organic metal which they believed would make the children into indestructible warriors, this metal was labeled M.A.A.S.K.

But when it started to kill the children and spread to children outside of the facility the government under much pressure to correct the problem then destroyed the research labs and killed all of the scientists. In their panic destroying any hope for a cure. Then they quarantined the children into refugee camps who had developed the virus, and continue to do so to those children born of M.A.A.S.K.

Hope had already observed the small camp just before her as she had left the city, but as they drew closer it seemed almost like a ghost town so quiet and still in the dessert plains. The only activity she observed was that from the plains creatures who were curious as to the new arrival of visitors. She pulled the scarf across her mouth more tightly as they reached the gate of the city looking even more ominous up close. Just then a boy maybe 15 yrs old greeted her and her companion at the entrance looking solemn and slightly curious.

“I’m here to see Namu.” She said in a firm voice.
The child paused for a moment the peered in the gate before he pulled away and opened the door for then to enter. It was then that Hope noticed another boy a couple years older with sand blonde hair standing near the lad.
“Follow me.” He said then walked ahead of them down a path that lead further still within the city. As they walked she noticed that their presence had gained the attention of several of the children who suddenly appeared from the tents their eyes full of wonder. One girl shook her hand free from the other one and ran up to meet Hope but seemed too afraid to speak once she arrived. As the girl looked down Hope noticed the patch of black metal amidst her matted hair. As Hope smiled down at her the older girl caught up dragged her away with a hand that was covered in the metal.

As her eyes scanned the children she could see them with the same black metal patches in various locations on their body. One boy whispered to another boy near by who had the black substance over his eyes, leaving him blind. Several children had limbs covered in the metal and seemed to have a hard time walking, and moving. Even so their eyes had remained bright full of energy and strength. Then there were the children that sat near tents with hopelessness in their eyes or heads buried in their laps unaware of anything around them. Hope tore her eyes away from them when she realized that they had stopped walking and had arrived at their destination.

The tent was much bigger than the others so she assumed she had reached the housing of their leader. The older boy pulled the cloth door open then waved a hand for her to enter, but as the older companion moved to join her. The boy the moved to block him and shook his head.

With a short nod she reassured her friend that she would be ok, then took a deep breathe before stepping into the room. When she entered she was followed by the older boy who focused his sharp blue eyes ahead. Soon she noticed a figure standing with his backing facing her and his hands crossed behind his back. For a moment Hope studied him, his stance spoke of confidence and yet there seemed to be a humble grace about him. Meanwhile, somewhere deep within her heart familiarity struck, yet she did not mentally concede to the feeling. The figure continued to stand firm never turning to acknowledge her presence.

“Why did you come here?” the figure suddenly spoke. To much of her surprise the voice sounded like one of a much younger man that she had previously imagined.
“I… I’m looking for someone.” Hope stuttered suddenly feeling shy.
“So I heard…”
Hope cleared her throat and began again hoping her voice would come out stronger this time. “His name is Namu.”
“And what do you want with him?” the voice questioned again unwavering in its strength.
“We were friends once many years ago, and now I need his help.”
“For what?”
“What does it matter?” Hope said slightly annoyed.
“Then your visit here is over.”
“Listen I asked to see Namu, and I’m mot leaving until I do.” Hope said boldly.
Suddenly the man shifted his stance and turned his head. “Leave us.” The boy nodded then turned and left them alone with Hope feeling more confused. Why wouldn’t he just say where Namu was, was he ok? She wondered to herself.
“Where is Namu?” Hope asked cautiously but when he didn’t respond she pressed further “Please… please tell me”
He turned his head revealing his strong profile, with an amused expression on his face. “Namu is here Hope, in this very room in fact.”
Suddenly her fears left and her heart leapt for joy, but still her cautious mind warned her to remain sensible. “Namu?” she asked softly.

Suddenly the smile left his face as he turned and bowed his head. “It’s been a long time Hope,” he added solemnly “things change I have changed.” Then he turned around to face her. When he did Hope’s first inclination was to notice that he had become a man since she last saw him, yet his eye was still bright she thought even if the M.A.A.S.K. disease had already consumed the other half of his face.
He sighed and looked down “As you can see I am no longer the boy you knew. I can understand if you want to leave.”
Hope smiled and began to chuckle. “You have changed Namu, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you, and much too serious.” His sapphire eye widened in surprise as Hope continued to giggle, but soon relaxed into a smile.
“I am glad to see that your father has allowed you to visit me again.” He said with a smirk.
The smile left Hope’s face as her heart sank until she noticed that Namu was gazing at her curiously.
“Father, has disowned me.” Hope said turning her eyes to the ground.
“What? How could…”
“When he found out my plan to return and help, he told me never to come back.”
Namu walked towards her and placed a hand on her shoulder. “I’m so sorry Hope, if you need a place to stay…”
“No, that’s not why I came.” Then she reached into her bag and pulled out a scroll “I came to give you this.”
Namu opened it and look at it for a few seconds before looking back at Hope. “This is a map.”
“Yes Namu, a map to find a cure.”
“A cure?”
“A cure to this dreadful disease for you and for the children.”
“But this map leads straight into the infested forest, Hope.”
“That’s why I need your help.”
“Impossible,” Namu said shaking his head “This is crazy not to mention for something that may be nothing.”
“I know it seems that way, but I know that this map will lead us to the cure. I just know it Namu. You have to trust me.”
“Hope, I couldn’t leave even if I wished to, I am the leader now and I have a duty to care for the children here, not to mention how dangerously futile this is, you may not understand this...”
“No, I understand, I understand perfectly.”
“You can stay a long as you wish to.”
“No need, I came for one thing and I guess I won’t get it.” She said before turning away to leave.
“I’m sorry Hope.” Namu said softly.
Hope paused for a moment and sighed “I know.”

TBC

Very well written, Souba! Once again, you've succeeded in leaving me (and perhaps future readers) with a cliffhanger. We know that Hope isn't getting the help she expected but what is there around the corner? :wink:

Very nice concept for the story. I like how you didn't automatically launch into a lengthy description of Hope and, subsequently, of Namu as they made their entrance. I also like how you didn't give too much away, of the characters as well as the backstory, leaving both somewhat open for later changes.

Good job, Souba! I noticed a few spelling and grammar mistakes here and there but those are easily fixed. :amused:

Thankz Jerz, I'm glad you liked it! Yeah I'm gonna work on those grammer, and spelling errors soon. :push:
I think I'll worry about descriptions when I actually know what they look like. :amused: I'm still playing with costume ideas, and stuff. I do have a nice pic of Namu so far though. *points up* :bigsmile:
And just how did you know what would happen next... :susp: *looks at plate of noodles near the computer* :notrust: :toung:
God Bless,
Souba

And just how did you know what would happen next... :susp: *looks at plate of noodles near the computer* :notrust: :toung:
God Bless,
Souba
Ooooooooooh!! NOODLES!! :bigsmile: :bigsmile: You don't mind, do you? *grabs the plate and starts eating before you get a chance to answer*

How did I know? Ionno... intuition, I guess? Besides, it's a cure. Someone's bound to be interested, right? :amused:

I lurvles the story plot and characters. Pweas write some more soon. *Does the puppy dog eyes* It sounds like you spent alot of time on this and now I command you spend more on another chapter! Now, drop and give me twenty! hehe...just kidding.

I lurvles the story plot and characters. Pweas write some more soon. *Does the puppy dog eyes* It sounds like you spent alot of time on this and now I command you spend more on another chapter! Now, drop and give me twenty! hehe...just kidding.

No pressure huh? :wink: Well here the most anticipated part 2, enjoy!
God Bless,
Souba


Namu had thought about what she had said ever since she left even as night came the words still rang in his ears. He tossed and turned on the cot as her last words continued to play in his head. With a sigh he tried to focus his thoughts on another subject, on Hope herself. He smiled to himself when he recalled the girl with big brown eyes and cheerful expression with her brunette ponytails bouncing in the wind. Namu realized that he had not been the only one to change. Hope was older now in fact a women the pony tails replaced by her long dark curls tied back and her childish features replaced by the soft feminine ones of a young lady. His fondness of her seemed to change into something different as they talked, and he couldn’t figure out how. Still he longed to talk with her again, that’s if she would want to ever speak with him again. Again his thoughts went towards their conversation. Could it be true? Did she have the map that lead to a cure? He could hardly guess, but a part of him said it was best to stay and take care of the camp. Or could it be the warnings from the soldiers who stood not to far from the quarantine area threatening to kill anyone who tried to leave that made him hold back?

Frustrated he sat up and rubbed his face feeling the familiar ice cold surface of the metal covering his entire left arm, and part of his face. Just then he saw the tent flap move and small dark figure enter the room. He instantly recognized the outline of Payle, his second in command.
“Yes, what is it?” he said.
The figure that had been surprised to find him awake stiffened as he regained his composure. “Namu sir, it is Deckt… it’s his time.” The voice said quietly.

Namu entered the tent and immediately spotted the boy lying on a flat with the other children who shared the tent gathered around him some already beginning to cry. Deckt’s face had now completely been covered by the mask disease cutting off his air supply entirely. He was already letting out muffled cries with his arms reaching upwards in panic. Namu took two swift strides to reach him and grasped his small hands in his. “Calm yourself Deckt.” He said softly into the boy’s ear.
The boy responded and began to quiet down grasping Namu’s hands. Even with his face covered tears seeped through the mask and ran down the sides of his face.
“Your time of rest has come, to return home, to find peace.” Namu said a little bit louder so that the other children would hear. Soon they began to calm too. Then the boy’s gasping began to quiet down and the small hands in Namu’s loosened and slipped to the cot. He knew then that Deckt was now gone. He lifted himself to his feet and bowed his head for a moment. When he looked up he saw the faces of the other children then gazed back at the small lifeless body before him. He knew that they would all soon share the same fate.

Namu returned to his room and looked around wondering when he would be the one who would be suffocated to death. He rubbed his face again and stopped to stare at his metal covered hand. How long would it be until they all died only so another generation of children born with the curse would come to die like Deckt? Anger consumed his heart and he clinched his fist and swung his arm at the nearby dresser knocking everything off of it, then he slashed at the drawings on his wall sending them cascading all over the floor. With a scream he collapsed to the ground and cried like he had back when he was 12 back when the only father he ever knew died.

When the tears began to die down and his voice had gone from the screams his thoughts returned to Hope. If the map was real and they did find a cure, he would never have to go through another night like this. Suddenly, his mind became clear and he didn’t care about rules or danger anymore. He would go with Hope to find that cure at all costs.

TBC

Thank you for posting up part two, my dear Souba. Again, I'm in awe at your writing skills. This is very well written and honestly, IMO, it's the beginning of a wonderful story.

Despite this chapter having a rather sad tone to it, I like how you didn't dwell on the child's death too much but focused more on Namu's dilemma and his feelings. The important part is that you seamlessly linked the child's death to Namu's final decision and, subsequently, his new resolve. :smile:

Masterfully written, Souba! I can't wait for the next part!

You have graced with another amazing chapter to your very well written story, it's amazing! I wish I could write like you, your very creative, keep it up!

Hi,
Thank you Shimmy for the comments, I'm glad you like the story so far. As for writing skills weeell they could use some work... :push: But I know I can improve the more I do it. I also need to remind myself to keep updating this thread for everyone. :whip: he he.
God Bless,
Souba